Can't I Just Hold It?
by EggSalad
Summary: In which Jonathan craves interaction with his nephew, Evelyn shouts, and Rick and Alex make cameo appearances.


Title: Can't I Just Hold It?  
  
Summary: In which Jonathan craves interaction with his nephew, Evy shouts, and Alex and Rick make cameo appearances.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money is being made.  
  
AN: Many thanks to all people everywhere who review, but especially to those who take the time to review my stories. :) Also, a big thanks to Sheri, who e-mailed me and basically got this story to the finishing line much faster than it would have otherwise. Feel free to get in touch with me, people.  
Hey, check out Belphegor's terrific fic, if you haven't already done so: "Fairy Tales and Hokum" is the name, I believe. Bug her to update. )  
Here's the traditional thanks to the beta reader, and off we go.

* * *

"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please, Evy, please, please, please?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Can't I just hold it, Evy?"  
  
"No! And it's a him. And you'll drop him."  
  
"I wouldn't drop him!" Jonathan cried, throwing his hands up in the air. "Look, old mum, I know you've had a rough couple of days, but-"  
  
"Three days."  
  
"A rough three days," Jonathan agreed without pausing, "but I do believe you're taking this protective thing a bit too far."  
  
"I am doing no such thing. I'm merely being careful; looking out for Alex's safety."  
  
"By keeping him away from me!?"  
  
" ... In short, yes."  
  
"It wasn't my bloody fault!"  
  
"Language, Jonathan! Young ears!"  
  
"He can't understand a bloody word we're bloody well saying!"  
  
"He's a very smart boy. And yes, it was your fault!"  
  
"It was a toy!"  
  
"And he swallowed it!"  
  
"How was I supposed to know he was going to swallow it?!"  
  
"That's just it! You can't know; that's why you have to watch them constantly! Constantly!"  
  
"I was watching him! I watched him swallow it!"  
  
"Yes, well ... And you don't know how to hold him!"  
  
"Yes, I bloody well do!"  
  
"Ha! No, you don't - I've seen you! His poor little head flops all over the place and you squish his arms against your -"  
  
"No, no, no, Evy, I know how to hold him! I'll - I'll show you! Look, look, see this jar thing?"  
  
"It's actually an authentic 17th century-"  
  
"All right, so this jar thingy is about the same size as Alex, see? No, really, Evy, look. So here's little Alex in my arms."  
  
Evy looked. "That's a vase, not Alex."  
  
"All right, fine, if you want to be literal about it. Here's a cute little jar that I'm going to pretend is Alex. See? Head would be here, so I'll just cradle it against -"  
  
The bedroom door banged open with a loud thud, which was followed quickly by the ominous sound of shattering glass.  
  
"Uh ... Sorry. You two fighting again?" asked Rick, cautiously edging into the room.  
  
"You dropped Alex!"  
  
"I did not! He's safe in his crib!"  
  
"You were pretending the vase was Alex! You dropped him!"  
  
"Well, I was startled, old mum. Rick surprised me and -"  
  
"And you dropped the vase, which you were pretending was Alex!"  
  
"It was just a bloody vase!" Jonathan bellowed.  
  
"It was not just a bloody vase, Jonathan. First of all, it proves my point; second, that was a rather expensive vase - it was a gift from the Scholars of -"  
  
"I don't give a damn who gave you that jar!"  
  
"Well, maybe you should. That 'jar' was important to me, and now it's ruined."  
  
"Well, I'm terribly sorry about your jar - er, vase - but just let me hold him. Please?"  
  
"When did you drop Alex?!" Rick asked, eyes narrowing, having only just processed a rather alarming portion of the conversation.  
  
"The jar. It was a jar." Jonathan said, hastily.  
  
"He was pretending it was Alex."  
  
"Haven't you been listening? We've been through this already."  
  
"Question," Rick said. "Why are you mad at Jonathan? And I mean aside from the fact that he dropped a, uh, a pretend Alex."  
  
"Alex choked on a toy while -"  
  
"It was an accident!" Jonathan exploded. "It was an accident that happened three days ago! And she's so bloody angry at me that she's withholding Alex as punishment!"  
  
"What else could I take away from you? You're supposed to be an adult, for heaven's sakes!"  
  
There was a pause while Jonathan and Evy panted, glaring at each other. Rick looked bemused.  
  
"I'm still angry with you," Evy said, "but I can't think of anything else to yell at the moment."  
  
"Yes, well, I'm sure you'll think of something," Jonathan sighed, looking longingly over at the crib. He seemed so very sad - his entire body sagged downwards, as though the pull of gravity had simply gotten too strong for him and he was giving up.  
  
Evy took a deep breath, and decided to take the high road.  
  
"Jonathan ... I'm ... It's just that - Well, Alex is very important to me."  
  
"And he isn't important to me?"  
  
"Of course he's important to you! You're his only uncle and he's going to love you to death and pick up all sorts of nasty habits from you that I'm going to have to shout at you for."  
  
Jonathan grinned. "But you'll love me anyway, old mum?" he asked whimsically.  
  
"Forever and ever," Evy promised, holding out her hand. Jonathan took it and allowed himself to be pulled closer to the crib.  
  
Rick quietly slipped out of the room to escape the mushiness.  
  
"Evy?" Jonathan asked. "Could I ..."  
  
And Evy said yes.  
  
End 


End file.
